Sandra Bullock, my new BFF
By Rachel Krueger
Sandy B clearly expected to walk home with a shiny gold man on Sunday, rocking a metallic Oscary dress and buffing her hair to a high Oscary sheen, and it comes as no surprise to the guess-makers and sayers-of-things-about-movies that she made good on her nom for Best Actress. But as honorable a [...]
If we stand on the shoulders of the dead, we can make millions!
By Rachel Krueger
If 2009 was The Year When All Those Famous People Died, 2010 is shaping up to be The Year of Chronic Grave-Robbing (where the “grave” is metaphorical and the “robbing” is more like “exploiting”).
Mind-bogglingly unsubtle fame-whore and living manga doll Tila Tequila (who is famous solely for throwing herself repeatedly and frantically into [...]
James Cameron: 2, You: 0
By Rachel Krueger
This will come as a surprise to exactly no one, but Avatar is hella awesome. I know! Breaking news, right? But despite its fancy director and budget and cast (Sigourney! Weaver!), Avatar is actually something of an underdog.
I mean, think of ALL THE THINGS about it that are stupid! It’s essentially Dances with [...]
Go wild
By Rachel Krueger
An interview with my Current-Self re: Where the Wild Things Are (the film), conducted by my Previous-Self (who had not yet seen it).
Previous-Self: I am nervous about this movie. I carry my generation’s obligatory love of the book, and the trailer looks terrible. Speak to my nervousness!
Current-Self: Calm [...]
Joaquin a fine line
Remember when Joaquin Phoenix played Emperor Commodus and made being power-mad kind of sexy? Remember when Joaquin Phoenix played Johnny Cash and made being tormented and hopeless kind of sexy? Remember when Joaquin Phoenix stopped showering and made unwashed vagrancy the world’s most uninteresting controversy?
Since his shock-seeking announcement last October that Phoenix is [...]
Disney’s tragic kingdom
The Disney corporation is a piss-poor parent. While it may be responsible for some of the finest keep-your-kids-busy-for-an-hour films ever made, it has done a reprehensible job of raising up its own young stars. If any real-life parents had Disney’s track record, social services would be on their asses before you could holler [...]
Twilight’s neurotic teens
Can we take a second to talk about the newest lit-to-film fad corrupting our children? Enough with the darling wizards in plaid robes; we’re talking about vampires now. Sexy, sexy vampires.
If you haven’t heard about Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight saga by now, you obviously have no daughters/wives/friends. The story of Bella Swan, a [...]
Paris in space
News flash, kids: Paris Hilton is a space cadet. The real kind. That goes into space.
When the first ragingly commercial shuttle craft, the Virgin (HA!) Enterprise, takes off next year, our very own Witless Wonder will be on it. True, she may be $200,000 US poorer for the experience. And true, [...]
Psst, kid, wanna buy some eyeliner?
Recently I met a mom who’s had enough. I was in a mall washroom when I noticed the media-awareness.ca sticker on the tote bag of the woman next to me at the counter. I asked her about it, and got a quick lesson in what it’s like to raise children in a media environment that’s [...]
Naomi Klein’s shocking truth
Have you had your electroshock therapy today? Remember, one dose alone does not guarantee long term positive effects; it’s best taken as a course of regular treatments.
Perhaps you thought electroshock therapy was a thing of the past, persisting only in Hollywood films about the bad old days when the insane were locked up and [...]