By Rachel Krueger
Katy Perry’s boobs have been deemed unfit for audiences aged 1-6. Shocked, are we?
The singer’s duet with Elmo, already disseminated via the Youtubes, won’t be appearing on Sesame Street after all. Perry sings a reworking of her song “Hot N Cold” where lines such as “like a bitch, I should know” are changed to the more child-friendly “left me here in this pose.” She saw the wisdom in editing her song lyrics (obviously) but opted to retain her Kitty-Purry, hyper-sexy persona, chasing Elmo in a lime-green strapless frock. (Illusion netting does not count as straps.)
The issue has, as usual, divided the internets into two variations on Appalled. Column A is Appalled that Perry would appear on a children’s show so nearly naked. Column B is Appalled that Column A is Appalled. Breasts are food! they cry, defending Perry’s décolletage as the sartorial equivalent of breastfeeding.
Perry seemed genuinely delighted to be appearing on the show, calling the taping “the highlight of [her] entire career.” And if her tight Elmo T-shirt on last weekend’s SNL appearance is any indication, she’s disappointed by the Street’s decision. But her outfit is inarguably tarty. Whether it’s too tarty for children is sort of a moot point, because it’s clearly too much for this particular children’s show.
Perry had to know that people would complain. Maybe she thought Sesame Street would buck the heat and have her back, not realizing that the show’s loyalty is to its viewers and not to her California Gurls. With a fraction more foresight and fabric, she could have avoided forcing their hand while keeping her coveted appearance. If, however, her goal was to stay true to her vision (doubtful) or generate controversy (likely), then she has made boobs of us all.
Elmo had good cause to run. Boobs are dangerous. Just consider the fear and alarm that ensued when Janet Jackson had a wardrobe malfunction exposing a nipple for a very brief period of time. What if one of those things had come loose on Sesame Street? Elmo and an entire generation of tykes would have been scarred for life.
Woody Allen knew of the danger and offered a solution. Imprison those things in high security brassieres.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mr7ZWJJdPV8