Justin Bieber, criminal batterer? Seriously?

A BoB short:

Okay, seriously . . . Justin Bieber “is a suspect in a criminal battery”?

We don’t believe it. And not because we’re Beliebers, but because . . . seriously: Justin Bieber?

We believed it when Sean Penn was accused of attacking a photographer in 2009, mostly because there was plenty of video of the incident, but also because he’s Sean Penn. That guy is bad ass. And we certainly bought it when a pap announced back in 2006 that he’d been choked by Woody Harrelson, because . . . well let’s just say that Woody Harrelson’s dad once claimed to have been involved in the Kennedy assassination.

But Justin Bieber? According to TMZ, witnesses say Bieber was leaving a mall in Calabasas, California with girlfriend Selena Gomez on Sunday when a photographer got in the way of their car. Bieber asked him to get out of the way, the photog wouldn’t, and “a scuffle ensued.”

But a scuffle bad enough for the guy to later tell police he felt a pain in his upper torso (that’d be his chest, for you non-med students out there) and for an ambulance to be called? Come on. This is a picture of Justin Bieber:

Okay, that was a few years ago, but you get the point. The whole thing sounds like a set-up: a lawyer just happened to be nearby and walked up to the photog after and advised him he could get a lot of money out of the incident and that he should file a police report. Handy.

One again. Justin Bieber:

Sean Penn:

We rest our case.

– Zeff Davies